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Thursday, October 31, 2013

My October Reads

The Rare Coin Score by Richard Stark (aka Donald Westlake). I love these hardboiled Parker entries. This time he decides to heist a rare coin convention, and of course nothing goes according to plan.

Robert Mitchum: "Baby, I Don't Care" by Lee Server. Definitive biography on the film star. The line quoted in the title comes from his classic film noir Out of the Past with Jane Greer.

Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho by Stephen Rebello. Everything you wanted to know about the famous movie. Lots of inside stories almost as interesting as the movie itself.

Call for the Dead by John le Carré. His first novel and introduces the spy George Smiley. Great characterization.

Ironweed by William Kennedy. Literary novel that reads like a classic noir to me.

The African Queen by C. S. Forester. The movie is different from the book which I enjoyed reading.
A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean. More of a fine literary novel but a crime does occur in a key place.

Rifles for Watie by Harold Keith. YA novel that stands up at my rereading it 45 years later.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

What I Am Working On: My Latest Novel

After the Big Noise is my current work-in-progress. It is my latest Private Investigator Frank Johnson mystery title. I am making way through the final editing rounds that are going pretty well. My tentative publication date is late this year, or early next year. P.I. Frank Johnson and I have been together for quite a while. Frank made his debut appearance as a short story published in the old Plots With Guns ezine back in September 2001. That was almost 12 years ago. After the Big Noise makes number six of his novels plus the one short story collection. His seven books make for a creditable run. I have some ideas for Book #8, but I prefer to clear the decks before I start outlining for the next installment in a series. If you enjoy reading hardboiled detective stories, my Frank Johnson series should be your cup of tea, or shot of bourbon, or whatever. Thanks and happy reading.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Time Change: Jump Back One Hour

I don't who it was that came up with the brilliant idea to move our clocks back one hour this coming Sunday. Maybe at one time it was a good thing, but now I'm not so sure. I'd rather have the light at the day's end, not in the morning hours. This comes from somebody who gets up at 4 a.m. Not bragging, just saying. The darkness provides a good quiet time to do my work. The earlier evenings leave me feeling sleepy and ready to go to bed. On the other hand, the school kids I see trekking up the street in the dark a.m. might now do it in daylight, and that right there is a good enough reason, I believe.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Which Social Media Do You Get Your Book Recommendations From?

After the microwave beeped, my hot mug of water for my tea was ready. So, I'm ready to write my semi-daily blog post. Back in the old internet days, I relied on the messageboards like rara-avis and 4M_Addicts for finding my genre title recommendations. This was before the blogs and then twitter hit the internet, neither of which really ever caught on for me as a source for book recommendations. I like to use Goodreads more than the other book-related sites because I am more familiar with how it works although I have been more active over at Shelfari. I see a lot of traffic on Facebook re: books, and I also use it as a writer first, and a reader a very distant second. Since my reading time has dropped off, I gravitate toward the shorter novels. But then I just finished up Lee Server's excellent biography of Robert Mitchum Robert Mitchum: "Baby I Don't Care" which is a long one. The biography was one of those many, many books I have flagged on Goodreads To-Read. LOL. On my last three visits at our public library, I just used the tried-and-true low tech method of browsing the fiction stacks. If a title catches my eye, I grab it for consideration. Ironweed and The African Queen came my way on these prowls, and I enjoyed reading both titles. So, maybe the combo of social media and the older methods work out the best for me to obtain my book recommendations. Happy reading!

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Tuning In To Watch Murder, She Wrote Every Sunday Night

Every Sunday evening at 8 p.m. we knew it was the right time to tune in to watching Murder, She Wrote on CBS (channel 9). The show ran from 1984 to 1996, a long time for a TV program. Angela Lansbury played Jessica Fletcher who was in her early 50s. I always thought of her as being older like in her early 70s. She played a successful mystery author who also did a little private detective thing on the side.

One aspect I found so appealing about Murder, She Wrote was the excellent cast of supporting characters. The folksy Tom Bosley (I liked him in Happy Days) playing Sheriff Amos Tupper (love that homespun name) was my favorite. The wisecracking Jerry Orbach (also excellent in Law & Order) as Harry McGraw, Jessica's private eye friend, was fun to watch. William Windom as crusty Dr. Seth Hazlitt and Jessica's best friend, was always to step up and lend her a steady hand. I

Blackfish: A Revealing Documentary on Orca Killer Whales

Back in 1976 I paid to see a show at the Sea World facility in Orlando, FL, and later in the mid-1980s I saw another show while I was vacationing in San Diego. I found them to be entertaining and fun outings. Then I saw the documentary Blackfish broadcasted on CNN. The tragic deaths of the orca "killer" whales' trainers are heartbreaking enough, but the captivity of the orcas trapped in their small concrete pools is also troubling. It made a lot of sense to me when the experts gave their side on why it is cruel to keep the orcas like they are now. Is there a better way? I don't know, but if there is I hope it is found soon. Sea World didn't grant any interviews for the movie. I'm not going to pick up my protest sign and picket Sea World, nor join a protest group. The next time I'm in a city where there is a Sea World, I believe I'll be looking elsewhere to spend my entertainment dollars.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Angel Face with Robert Mitchum & Jean Simmons



NOTE: Since I'm reading Lee Server's comprehensive biography of the American film star Robert Mitchum, I reposting my review of his very under-rated but classic film noir with Jean Simmons. It has got to be one of his top five movies. According to Server, Jean Simmons was trying to break her contract with RKO and get away from its creepy boss Howard Hughes who was pursuing/stalking her. Anyway, the right ingredients came together to bake a good film noir.

I swear Robert Mitchum was born to star in first-rate film noirs, or at least the ones that I get a big kick out of watching. This 1952 forgotten gem stars him and Jean Simmons as the femme fatale. Otto Preminger directed it, all filmed on locale in Beverly Hills. I won't rehash the pretty straightforward plot except to say Mitchum plays the poor boy, and Simmons is the rich pixie. The class distinction is a nice touch to the plot. Of course, almost from the get-go she has designs on him when he first shows up at her wealthy stepmother's mansion as an ambulance driver. Mitchum plays something of a sap, but he's also a war vet who has been around the block. I had difficulty hearing Jean Simmons, a soft-spoken actress, saying her lines at times, but she does a fabulous job in her role. Look for Jim Backus of Mr. Magoo and Gilligan's Island fame as the fiesty D.A. Imdb.com rates Angel Face as 7.3/10, but I'd go even further and give it 8.5/10. Check out Angel Face if you like gritty but well-plotted film noirs.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Friday's Forgotten Books: Rifles for Watie by Harold Keith (YA Novel)

I recalled once reading Rifles for Watie by Harold Keith when I was a kid probably over my summer vacation. I believed I had enjoyed the experience, so I decided to have another go at it now and hope the historical novel written for teens still holds up. I am happy to report Rifles for Watie still turns my crank. The author Keith had a wonderful knack for turning descriptive phrases of the landscape, battle scenes, and soldiers' camp life. His protagonist of Jeff Bussey from Linn County, Kansas, is a sensitive teenaged soldier who turns mean as a rattlesnake when he faces danger. Keith did tons of research as he laid out in his Author's Note before writing his novel. The level of violence surprised me, and I felt as if I was reading an adult novel. There is also romance when Jeff falls in love with a rebel girl. I got a nice historical overview of the American Civil War fought in the far west theater (the name Watie is pronounced as weighty). Stand Watie the Cherokee general who threw his support to the Confederates is an interesting character. Keith also did the smart thing by dramatizing the acts of compassion performed on both sides of the conflict. My second reading of Rifles for Watie as an adult really worked out for me, and how often does that happen? Well, I have to say not so frequently for me.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Phillip Marlowe Returns to Network TV: Good or Bad?

ABC has signed on an untitled Phillip Marlowe project from Castle series creator Andrew Marlowe (no relation ;-) and producer Michael De Luca (Fifty Shades of Grey). ABC says the project will be "a smart, sexy and stylish update of Chandler’s character." Does that leave you feeling a bit nervous like I am? Why can't Hollywood leave the classic noir and hardboiled literature alone? On the other hand, it would be refreshing to see another network TV private detective series take hold and thrive. Magnum, P.I. (1980-8), anybody? Then Stacy Keach played P.I. Mike Hammer from 1984-9 which I only viewed a few times. I'll always think of Phillip Marlowe as more of a big screen than TV presence. Humphrey Bogart, Robert Mitchum, James Garner, and Elliot Gould are among those movie stars who have played him. Mitchum closely followed by Bogart are the best of the bunch for my money. So, it's wait and see if ABC can pull it off with their Marlowe rendition. I sure hope they can do it.

Link to the article that appears in Deadline:
http://www.deadline.com/2013/10/phili...

Monday, October 21, 2013

Tuesday's Forgotten Films: No Way Out Starring Sidney Portier and Richard Widmark

This 1950 film noir was directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz, and starred Richard Widmark, Linda Darnell, Stephen McNally, and Sidney Poitier. It concerns the theme of racism where Widmark plays a racist, two-bit hood and Portier is the young doctor who treats his gunshot wound sustained during his arrest. Portier also treats Widmark's brother who then dies during the spinal tap procedure. Of course, the hot-headed Widmark wrongly claims Portier killed his brother. The only way Portier can clear his name is through an autopsy which Widmark as the next-of-kin refuses to give permission to perform. Darnell plays the dead brothers' ex who Portier and McNally (Portier's boss) appeal to for her assistance. Parts of the movie feel dated like the riot scenes. But the acting is first rate, and I liked the tension generated. The ugly N-word gets tossed around, but I suppose it's necessary in Widmark's dialogue for this type of movie. Darnell and especially Sidney Portier are the two dramatic standouts, in my opinion. IMDb.com gives this film 7.4/10.0, and I'd go along with the high mark.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

The End of Our Short-Sleeve Weather

One of my pet peeves is having to wear long-sleeve shirts. I find the cuffs to be annoying while I work at my keyboard or laptap keys. The cuffs get caught on the leading edge of the laptop or just feel confining in general. I know I could roll up my sleeves while I'm writing. But that sort of defeats the purpose of wearing the long sleeves (that is to say to keep warm). Also, I want to make this blog post a gripe session ;-) Seriously though, the weather forecasters say this week that 2013's first autumnal frost will hit us. I expect that will also trigger my wearing the first long-sleeve shirts since last spring. I've also noticed this past summer how some baseball pitchers also fidget when they have to wear their long-sleeve jerseys on the cooler days and nights. The cuffs interfere with their pitching mechanics and hurling the ball. Winter isn't my favorite season. On the other hand, I believe I have written my best fiction titles during the winter months, or at least the first drafts. So, the winter cold does bring its good things, even as I grumble my way through them.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Friday's Forgotten Books: Ironweed by William Kennedy

I don't know if Ironweed is considered a forgotten book, but it was forgotten by me until I saw it at the library. When I was a kid, I used to see the ironweed blooming along the creeks and edges of fields. Many years later, I saw a novel by the same name had won the Pulitzer Prize. Now I finally got around to reading it, and I am glad I did. Francis "Fran" Phelan is an ex-ballplayer (a third baseman for the Washington Senators, my favorite team). Francis dropped his baby boy Gerald on his head and killed him twenty-two years ago, and left home in great sorrow and regret. Francis calls himself a bum, though I expect he is more of an introspective, brooding hobo knocking around 1930s Albany, New York. He picks up odd jobs as a gravedigger and rag man's assistant. All of his money goes to booze. While not the happiest novel to read, Ironweed's prose has a blue-collar lyricism to it I liked. Plus, Francis seems to be a good-hearted soul, and I rooted for him to overcome his grief. Ironweed is a short, often humorous book that clips right along.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Applying the Page 69 Test to My Second Private Eye Novel

Marshal Zeringue on his cool readers' website asked me to apply the Page 69 Test to The Dirt-Brown Derby and this is what I reported.

My novel is the second title in a modern hardboiled detective series. Our hero, P.I. Frank Johnson, has left the bucolic fox hunt country in Middleburg, Virginia, and driven the short distance to posh, fashionable Potomac, Maryland outside Washington, D.C. Frank is investigating the disappearance of Carl Taliaferro, and this is a side trip to interview Carl’s affluent parents.

Frank’s visit with the Taliaferros becomes a pivotal scene. I wanted a bit more than another PI yarn. A major theme underlying The Dirt-Brown Derby is the stratified society entrenched in Middleburg and Potomac. Frank dislikes trafficking between the various castes while pursuing his case. Nonetheless after this exchange of terse dialogue, he realizes the mystery confronting him will be difficult and thorny to solve.

Page 69 to The Dirt-Brown Derby quoted in full:

“I’m Frank Johnson -- ”

“Soliciting is prohibited,” she said. The door flew toward me.

My hand obstructed its path. “No ma’am, you’ve taken the wrong idea. I came to speak to Mr. Taliaferro and yourself.”

“Concerning?”

“Concerning your son, Carl.”

“Who are you with? The Washington Post? My husband is retired and no longer active in those government affairs. Go away. Leave us in peace. Please.”

“No, I’m not the press,” I said. “I’m a detective. Only to talk, I promise you. Five minutes and no more of your time. You’ve nothing to lose except to get rid of me.”

Her tall, lithe profile tucked around the door. “Okay only you’d better make it snappy.”

Their circular two-story foyer was lit in brilliant harshness. My eyes flickered to deal with it.

“Wait in the kitchen,” she said. “I’ll go rouse my husband. The au-pair’s room is now his office.”

I sat at the oval oak table while noticing a copper tea kettle collection on shelves across the center aisle.

“Mr. Johnson?” A man’s baritone filled the room. “I’m Rusty Taliaferro. My wife said you came to talk about Carl.”

He was half a head taller than me even if with the stooped shoulders. He exuded gray sideburns, mustache, eyebrows, and longish hair. His teeth were capped or he wore dentures. A hearing aid clipped over an ear. A hawthorn cane aided in his balance. Man, I couldn’t wait to join AARP.

I handed him my license like a penitent driver does to a disgruntled highway patrolman. “Private agent. Mrs. Taliaferro, Emily’s mother, employs me.”

“Oh Lord.” His sigh was a pained one. “What the devil has her in an uproar now?”

“She questions the official disposition of your granddaughter’s death,” I said.

Rusty Taliaferro wrapped both palms atop his cane and lowered himself into an oak chair opposite me. “That fool woman will undo me yet,” he said. “What has she put you up to? Chasing down phantom killers? She has killers on the brain.”

“Well, she claims Emily’s riding mishap wasn’t accidental,” I said.

“Naturally, naturally,” he said. “What mom wants to believe their daughter fell victim to a random occurrence of ugly misfortune. We both loved Emily but we’re also resigned to accept what tragedy befell her. Life goes on.”

“I won’t belabor that point. Forgive my intrusion, but it has a direct bearing on my case. Did you ever entertain suspicions that your son’s death was anything but what the Coast Guard ruled it as?”

Monday, October 14, 2013

Tuesday's Forgotten Films: The File on Thelma Jordan

This gritty film noir released in 1950 stars one of the all-time femme fatales in the incomparable Barbara Stanwyck and Wendell Corey as the "fall guy." The dialogue is crisp, the plot turns unexpected, and, at times, I got a little lost in following the storyline. But I enjoyed watching it nonetheless. Corey plays an unhappily married Assistant D.A. of some small California city who falls in love with Stanwyck despite his suspecting that she's not all on the level as she purports to be. Her rich Aunt Vera Edwards is murdered and Stanwyck is arrested for it. As things shake out, Corey is assigned to prosecute Stanwyck at her murder trial while he's madly in love with her. Corey performs his role very low-keyed and smoothly cynical. I've liked his acting in other films; what a shame he died in his mid-50s from alcoholism. Thelma Jordan delivers the goods that fans would expect from an early potboiler, including the ending. IMDb.com goes with 6.8/10.0 which falls a bit short. My score would be a solid 7.5 if just for Stanwyck's gutsy role as the siren who just may surprise you, as she did me.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Our Cat Meows at Night When We Sleep

Our cat likes to come into our bedroom and meow a few times then leaves. Sometimes it wakes me up, and other times my wife. We've had Franny--she's the guilty culprit--a few (3?) years, and I don't remember her exhibiting this behavior in past years. I don't know if she sees or hears something threatening outdoors. We did have coyotes in the neighborhood, but I'm not sure if they still are around or not. I thought maybe another cat(s) (feral?) had made her uptight. I did a little googling and the suggestion I found was to leave open our bedroom door so she can come inside for reassurance. H'm. That's more like part of the problem. Another suggestion made was to play with her before our bedtime to tire her out. That is probably more doable, so maybe I'll try that idea out. But she has got to get with the plan.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Fridays's Forgotten Books: African Queen by C.S. Forester

I really got into this wartime adventure romance even if it is sometimes on the corny side. I saw the Bogart and Hepburn movie version years ago, and I don't remember enough if it faithfully follows the novel. Rose Sayer, the thirty-three-year-old missionary's sister, is a tough heroine, sort of an early twentieth-century Laura Croft with a British accent. She and Charlie Allnutt make a great pair of protagonists in their far-fetched mission to take out the German warship on the African lake. The best fun was to follow their trek downriver and read how they overcame the various obstacles. C. S. Forester's prose style is fresh and vivid. The pace keeps things moving along, and I got swept up in their heroic adventure. Fine entertainment.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

On Rereading My Top YA Book Picks

From time to time, I remember a book I liked reading as a teenager, and my curosity is piqued enough to go back and reread it. This isn't always true because sometimes my rereading takes away from my joy of the original reading. So, I try to be careful about which YA titles I select to reread. Also from a writer's perspective, I like to see how the author put the book together. It's Like This, Cat by Emily Cheney Neville was the last YA title I can recall liking again on my second read through it as an adult. But then I'm a big cat fan, so maybe that had something to do with it. I don't have a formal list of YA titles drawn up, but something will trigger a memory of a particular YA title. Many of them were read over my summer vacations. The next YA book I have lined up to reread is Rifles for Watie by Harold Keith which is a boy's historical novel. I'm looking forward to reading it hopefully over the next week or so.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Does Anybody Use a Rolodex Anymore?

Use a what? I always got a Rolodex mixed up with a Rolex. The Rolodex was that big rolling index (Rolodex is the combination of the two words) of cards often seen on business desktops. The last one I remember seeing sat on our realtor's desktop. She must've considered her Rolodex essential for the line of work she was in. They held up to 6,000 cards, so a user had that many contacts they could stuff into one of the contraptions. But then the digital age hit us, and I wonder if the Rolodex was rendered obsolete. It would be difficult to carry one as opposed to a Blackberry (it it becoming obsolete?) or a smart phone. There is also Google to look up names and contact information. Or LinkedIn, if you like it. One thing strikes me is a that Rolodex would never get infected by a computer virus. I run my anti-virus software at least once a day. Arnold Neustadter, an inventor from Brooklyn, developed the Rolodex first sold in 1958. Their prices climbed to a rather steep price of $200, and I can remember seeing them on the store shelves during the 1980s. I never had the need for one. Mr. Neustadter died on April 17, 1996, so he didn't live to see the social networks flourish to do what his wonderful invention once did.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Tuesday's Overlooked Films: This Gun For Hire Starring Alan Ladd

This choice 1942 film noir stars Veronica Lake, Robert Preston, Laird Cregar, and Alan Ladd. But Ladd's superb performance as the laconic hired killer (hit man) Raven with a soft side for cats and gorgeous ladies is the movie's gold. Alan Ladd is an exceptional actor in his pictures I've recently watched. The film noir is based on the novel A Gun for Sale by Graham Greene which I have not read yet, but I will now. Laird Cregar double crosses Raven, a big mistake on his part. Never betray a hit man unless you know for sure he's not going to be around to even the score. Great scenes are shot inside the gritty switchyard and gas works. I noticed in one scene early on between Lake and Preston a carton of Chesterfield cigarettes plainly out in view. The World War II motif plays well throughout the picture. IMDb.com viewers rate This Gun For Hire as 7.5/10.0, but I go higher with a solid 8.5. I really liked watching this film from start to finish. Recommended.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Movie Review: Gravity Starring George Clooney and Sandra Bullock

Since there has been a lot of positive buzz generated about the current 3D space thriller Gravity, I decided to check it out. I have to say I came away less than enthusiastic. It is a stunningly visual treat and exciting to watch, for certain. The yarn about a pair of astronauts surviving a disaster while aboard the Space Shuttle is a gripping one. I kept thinking of David Bowie singing the lyrics to "Space Oddity." Therein lies the problem for me. The whole space adventure is highly improbable. But if you can let go of your disbelief, it's suspenseful fun for taking the ride. George Clooney, 52, seems a little long in the tooth for being an astronaut, but then I don't follow NASA news stories, so I could be wrong. Sandra Bullock gives the story some depth and empathy. It's difficult to discuss the plot without playing spoiler, so I won't. Gravity grabbed a bunch of 4-star reviews, but I'd go with a solid 3-star rating instead.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Friday's Forgotten Books: Doctor No by Ian Fleming

I don't know if it rates as a forgotten book, but Doctor No is the first James Bond 007 novel I have read written by the original author, Ian Fleming. He was highly regarded in his day, a friend of the great Raymond Chandler, no less. You can find an often cranky interview Fleming had with Chandler on YouTube. The writer Fleming had at least three strengths: lush settings, imaginative action sequences (despite the liberal use of exclamation marks), and marvelously beautiful ladies. James is dispatched to Jamaica to deal with a minor problem of one of their colleagues having skipped off with his attractive assistant with no word. Of course, things turn out more complicated once James arrives in Jamaica. When I was introduced to Doctor No, I realized Fleming was also effective at portraying his colorful, complex villains. I have not seen the Dr. No film, so I didn't have any preconceptions before reading the book. Nonetheless, I believe Sean Connery remains the best 007 actor. Ursula Andress played Honeychile Ryder, the Bond girl he meets on Doctor No's remote island. I liked the witty humor, especially in the early going. James also proves himself to be quite resourceful when the chips are down. I may read further into Fleming's series at some point, but in the meantime I enjoyed taking this ride with him.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

What I Do Offline to Recharge

I remember one time many years ago taking a time management course at work, and I applied the suggested techniques to become more efficient for about a day. There were just so many different things to do all at once that I didn't have the time to prioritize my tasks. I was running around from putting out one fire to putting out the next fire blazing up. Writing long fiction is sort of like that mode. There is alway one more thing to check when I'm editing a novel manuscript like I am doing right now. One thing I stand firm on, however. At the day's end, I flip an internal switch, and I absolutely refuse to think anymore about the novel. It will be there for me tomorrow. And I have the confidence I will recognize what problems I need to fix. That is how I recharge. I refuse to have anything else to do with my current novel once I turn off my laptop, or I put down my ink pen. I might jot down a note if I get a stray thought. I know I need to chill out, and that is the only way I know how to work. Of course, if I'm on deadline all that goes out the window.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Sam Spade/Miles Archer Bronze Plaque (Warning: Spoiler)

I ran across this website showing different plaques. This one plaque found at the mouth of Burritt Alley in San Francisco honors Sam Spade/Miles Archer. The inscription is a spoiler, so if you haven't read The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett, or seen the movie starring Humphrey Bogart, be aware of that fact. Here's the link to see the Sam Spade/Miles Archer bronze plaque: http://readtheplaque.com/109/honoring...

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Sending and Receiving Postcards: Passe Now?

I cannot remember the last time I either received or sent out an honest-to-goodness postcard. You know the typical message scrawled on one: "Having a great time! Wish you were here!" Are postcards sold anymore at the tourist traps and vacation spots? I visited a couple of historic homes over the summer, and I don't believe the gift shops offered postcards for sale. Perhaps the cost of postage has been a contributing factor in the decline of postcards' popularity. How much is the postage cost now on a postcard? It used to be less than a postage stamp for sending a letter. Or is it just easier to send a text/email and a photo/video with it? The digital age has made our world a lot smaller, and the postcard has become an obsolete if not quaint relic of the recent past. The post office that stands to make something on postcards' delivery might not agree with the assessment. Plus which, it's kind of cool to find something in my land mail besides the bills and junk mail. Many days now I make a beeline straight from the mailbox to the recycle bin. I'm going to make it a point to be on the lookout for any postcards for sale that I may run across, and I'll report back here in a blog post if I ever do.